Minda letih

Kadang2 aku rasa aku sedang alami life changing yg agak drastik sampai ke tahap tiap2 hari pun ade aje berasa kecewa (oh adekah perasaan ni sebb hormon ku yg tgh tak berape stabil aka emosional ni??) atau adekah aku ni tergolong dr kalangan org2 yg tak bersyukur??

semestinya perasaan ni byk didorong oleh persekitaran yg aku alami sejak pulang ke msia. entahla mcm ada something wrong dgn life style kt malaysia ni dr pemerhatian aku la. everyone (including myself) hidup mcm terkejar2..busy yg tk hengat dan sentiasa berletih letihan. ok mungkin tak semua tp melalui journey yg aku lalui setiap hari, this is what i have always seen. mungkin mmg budaya kt mesia suka bekerja keras..tp berbaloi sgt kah ape yg kita perolehi??

mmg ade something wrong lah dgn negara kita nih..hidup ada master and phd pun belum tentu boleh tanggung beli rumah n kete sebijik kalau tak keje smpai tak nmpak matahari langsung. kuar pagi buta balik pun mlm buta. sedih kan..terpksa korbankan institusi keluarga, masa bersama2 anak, ms merehat minda, fizikal dsg.

Compare to what i've been thru in other country, keje keras jugak. tp getting enough payment dan living cost yg lebih rendah and affordable make their people develop sikap tolak ansur dan better manner than our people. country's development really help a lot in controlling and teaching their people.

contoh paling dekat ngn aku skrg ni mcm kemudahan lrt dan komuter. walaupun dah bertahun2 aku guna komuter, sampai sekrg aku masih tak leh cakp aku satisfy dgn muka tersenyum ikhlas.malah rsa mcm ni lah kemudahan yg agak mendera perasaan penumpangnya. jadual tren tak pernah tepat, tren selalu cancel, tade backup plan utk ape2 kerosakan and yet nk suh penumpang2 dia jaga manner bila dalm tren dan bertolak ansur. hello kalau dah your passenger berjam2 tunggu tren, then bila berjaya boarding senang nk bagi ibu mengandung duduk, baper kerat je yg sanggup??? mmg aku tak salahkan org2 yg duduk bila diorang tak bg aku duduk walaupun nmpak perot aku yg boyot ni. let us think what really had caused our people to perfom such manner.

aku pernah kuar rumah awal dgn harapan dpt naik tren awal then sampai ofis awal utk balik rumah awal petangnya. but what happen almost e-ve-ry-day, tren cancel and tren seterusnya penuh so terpksa board the third tren. akhirnya aku tetap sampai lambat dan terpksa ganti balik hour yg terbazir sebb tren yg lembab.what the.. huh. see how this affect people's life. kemudahan yg kononnya nk memudahkan sebenarnya dah merubah sikap rakyat tu sendiri jd selfish and less humanity. like myself, i get stressed every day dan akhirnya membuang sikap dtg awal and prefer balik lambat which means bertambah letih la badan and less time spend at home. sungguh komuter telah mengubah hidup saya dan masyarakat.

compare ngn lrt, perkhidmatan cekap, pantas. setakat nk bg org duduk pun tk kisah because you sure to arrive your place within your expected time. and you know sekalipun terlepas tren, you dont get so stressed coz another tren will come in one or two minutes.so conclusion nya, eficiency would give people trust. and trust builds tolerancy in life.

aku sndiri pun pening ape aku merepek mlm ni..skejap pasal payment sekjap pasal tren pulak.. ape2 je lah..letih sungguh dah ni. baik tdo.

Jauh

Hm tatau kenape rasa macam buntu terus tiap kali nk menaip kt blog ni. memang kalau nk diikutkan pun takde benda menarik sgt pun happened to me lately accept one or two events .

Dah sebulan cik abang ku di perantauan..dan sebulan jugakla aku menumpang ngn parents. memang sedih tp nk buek camano ada kala kena belaja juga hidup berjauhan supaya kita leh appreciate other things around us that perhaps we had less spent time on all this while. Like now, I feel very lucky to have two jelitawans who have taken good care of me. They cooked for me, did laundry for me and never let me be alone. Thanks Allah for sending Ijah back from Egypt for free at this lonely time of mine. And now, she has gone back to Egypt (also for free) and I pray she gains success and Allah protects her in all endeavor of her life. For my sweet Nani also, a big congratulations for your flying colour result in SPM. May this be a proper entrance for the next stage of challenging life ahead. Be careful not to be 'drowned' in every success you gain and never give up in every ups and downs. Remember Allah, and he will always be with you :)

Aside from having unbearable longing sometimes, I realize somehow I got extra time to look on my family, rebuild the bond between younger siblings and of course stay closer to my father. Eventhough less time spend with him each week as he is always the most important person in his organisation, but that is still good enough as we are getting older day by day, and so do our parents too..

About my pregnancy, Alhamdulillah this week my little baby inside is turning 19th week. So next week is going to be half way through yay! InsyaAllah. Unlike my other pregnant friends, praise to Allah that I did not suffer from any severe morning sickness. Adela muntah sikit2 utk melegakan perut especially when I knew I lost appetite on some kind of food but I still took it..hehe degil betul ibu ni! Other than that, my every day life went normal.

Now I start to feel back pain when I wake up every morning..nk bangun pun kena senget2 kan badan. I guess my baby size is around 6 inches now ( half size of roti subway) and haruslah sudah menonjol di perut ku yg sememangnya tertonjol ni. Kalau dulu, agak stress melihat diri yg makin mendebab..but now the feeling has turned to be more supportive as I think I'm not gaining weight for nothing, but for the sake of my little baby instead :) Since my next checkup still got a month to go, InsyaAllah Ahad ni I 'll be going for my sesaje checkup nearby. Can't wait to know the gender, so that papa blh shopping baju2 baby kt sana..and of course hadiah daku juga :D

To readers, please pray for me and my baby that we'll both safe till the end as this is my first experience so of course sometimes i do fear of it. Semoga kita sentiasa dibawah rahmat Allah dan perlindungan Nya :)

Ok take, entry Tujuh Bulan Dua dah berganti :P

Happy Birthday Sweetheart..

Hari ini hari kelahiran buah hati pengarang jantung saya..my beloved husband :)
Alhamdulillah hari ini genap 31 tahun hidup nya --- wah tuanya!!

hehe walaupun da mencecah ke tiga puluhan..tpi bg saya dia tetap maintain hensem lebih2 lagi bila dia senyum..aduh..manis menusuk kalbu.

Dah mn boleh puji lebih2 nanti makin kembang pulak..

Semoga abang dipanjangkan umur, dimurah kan rezeki dan tahun ni bakal menjadi ayah yg bahagia, berdedikasi, penyabar dan penyayang....ameennn..

Cepat2 la pulang... :(

I luv U